Rock Tumbler

When I was little my brother got a rock tumbler as a present. It was one of those little, battery powered plastic ones that came with some pre-packed stones to polish with that vinegary solution and with a little book on what to look for and false promises of finding real gem stones in your own back yard. I only remember him using it once or twice then it was in boxes for years until it was thrown away.
Flash to years later and to when I was in High School. Like many, there were a few people I related to and a couple (literally) of which I still call friend. Now, most of the time I'm completely satisfied with this, my life is affected but by no means dictated by those years. Every so often though and after a couple drinks and introspection I go on that hideous bitch goddess facebook and go through my friends list and try to reconnect with one or two individuals I haven't spoken to let alone seen in years. It never works out and I should by now know it never does, but hell, maybe one of these days it'll be worth a shot, or at least that's what the boose tells me. Usually though I just end up reinforcing my beliefs that people suck and those I thought I had a genuine connection with five years ago show their true eroded and washed out colors. I don't know if it's a matter of my bridge burning, things I've done in the past, or just how peoples' experiences just can either break down or build their characters but whenever I try to "reconnect" it ends up augmenting my feeling of "there's a reason you lost contact with them." I think what hurts the most is the disappointment in people I thought were solid and how, through a series of life's events, they've lost the very qualities that drew me to them in the first place. Sure, for all I know I could be the asshole that skipped out on them so they're pissed at me; as critical as I am on myself it's really difficult to be able to go against my belief that I am, while by no means the best, a relatively good person. Everyone changes, it's inevitable, I just wish there was more of a balance of being able to keep true to oneself while chipping away the gritty bits to allow more admirable luster to shine through. That fucking rock tumbler never did work right.