KABUL, Afghanistan - Mutants set off a car bomb and stormed the entrance to a major NATO air base in eastern Afghanistan on Wednesday, authorities said. Eight of the beasts died in the failed assault. The CHUD (Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers) Nation has taken full responsibility. This is the third ground attack from "the Nation" (as supporters and members informally call it) on NATO forces since drilling in the Middle East disturbed their home in early May. Using light weapons, and rocket-propelled grenades the mutants battled U.S. and Afghan forces for 30 minutes around the airport on the outskirts of Jalalabad city, the media office at the airport said.
"The beasts were not able to breach the perimeter. They were fought off by Coalition and Afghan forces." German army Brig. Gen. Josef Blotz, a spokesman for NATO, told reporters, "We've seen a lot out here this past decade. Car bombs, suicide bombers, and men and women who are civilian one second, enemy insurgent the next. The Middle East has always been a hot bed of violence and blurred lines. There is nothing these Humanoid Cannibals can throw at us that we haven't already seen."
A letter written on skin was sent to the Associated Press that said six suicide CHUD scouts killed 32 Coalition and Afghan forces at the airport about 80 miles east of the Afghan capital. The Nation often claims higher numbers in deaths than the official toll.
In an unrelated incident in East Afghanistan last week, a United States soldier was dragged underground and is considered missing in action. This brings the possible American death toll to 59 in June.
At a Press conference held shortly after the most recent attack, when asked about the addition of the CHUD Nation to an already volatile situation in Afghanistan American General David H. Petraeus, who recently was put in command of Afghan forces, had no comment.
Jun 24, 2010
A Bonding Moment With Dad
Dad- Son, out of my brothers and I, who do you think is the smartest?
me- I don't know, umm...Uncle ------?
D- Actually it's your Uncle ---, he's an accomplished scientist. Now, second question, who do you think has the biggest dick?
m- ...you mean second biggest?
D- (nods approvingly)Good answer
me- I don't know, umm...Uncle ------?
D- Actually it's your Uncle ---, he's an accomplished scientist. Now, second question, who do you think has the biggest dick?
m- ...you mean second biggest?
D- (nods approvingly)Good answer
Jun 3, 2010
Music Review: Gogol Bordello "Trans-Continental Hustle"
I know I promised beer reviews but I haven't been able to sit down and get a good thing going with those so we'll call those on Hiatus right now. That said, here's a review for the new Gogol Bordello album Trans-Continental Hustle.
For those of you not familiar with the band, here's a quick synopsis of what they are. Take a bunch of Eastern European immigrants, give them a mix of folk instruments (accordion, violin, etc.) and electric guitars and shove them into the modern day NYC punk rock scene. You have the lead singer Eugene Hűtz, an energetic, quarter Romany descendant from Ukraine who is a much better show man than singer and a mix match of other Gypsies and outcasts having a good time and playing music that's a mix of folk, kleizmer, punk rock, dub, hip hop, Balkan brass, what have you. They came on the scene in the early aughts and broke out with their second full length album and my personal favorite of there's Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony since then they've received a lot more attention through use on music soundtracks (Everything is Illuminated and Wristcutters: a Love Storyare two that come to mind)and playing festivals like Lollapalooza and Bonnaroo. Now that introductions are done, here's the review.
In a few words "it's Gogol Bordello", in one word "tired". While most bands I've listened to and still do try to tweak their formula with every album to produce something fresh, Gogol Bordello is sticking to the same coattails that have carried them since their third album Gypsy Punks:Underdog World Strike which, while sounding a bit apart from Multi Kontra, still offered a pretty good range of memorable songs and pretty solid messages in some of them. In their following album Super Taranta they returned back to sounding a lot more like Multi Kontra which was nice but a couple songs irked me the wrong way. Trans-Continental Hustle isn't terrible, just over all pretty forgettable. Hell, I've been listening to it this entire review and already I forget most of what I've just heard. I don't buy albums very much, but when I see something from a band I've always loved and supported (i.e. when I saw the most recent offering from Gorillaz Plastic Beach I picked it up immediately) I drop the money I could have otherwise saved by pirating it offline and hold my breath. Trans-Continental Hustle is the weakest offering from Gogol Bordello, flat, which isn't saying it's bad, just they're totally capable of better stuff, I've heard it. Keeping with my rating system from the last music review (Full Price, Buy Used, Download, Fuck It) this is a solid Download if you're a fan of the band. If you haven't heard them, skip this and buy their first two Voi-La Intruder and/or, and I'll drop the name of the album again Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony.
Track List
1. Pala Tute
2. My Companjera
3. Sun is on My Side
4. Rebellious Love
5. Immigraniada (We Comin' Rougher)
6. When Universes Collide
7. Uma Menina
8. Raise the Knowledge
9. Last One Goes the Hope
10. To Rise Above
11. In the Meantime in Pernambuco
12. Break the Spell
13. Trans-Continental Hustle
For those of you not familiar with the band, here's a quick synopsis of what they are. Take a bunch of Eastern European immigrants, give them a mix of folk instruments (accordion, violin, etc.) and electric guitars and shove them into the modern day NYC punk rock scene. You have the lead singer Eugene Hűtz, an energetic, quarter Romany descendant from Ukraine who is a much better show man than singer and a mix match of other Gypsies and outcasts having a good time and playing music that's a mix of folk, kleizmer, punk rock, dub, hip hop, Balkan brass, what have you. They came on the scene in the early aughts and broke out with their second full length album and my personal favorite of there's Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony since then they've received a lot more attention through use on music soundtracks (Everything is Illuminated and Wristcutters: a Love Storyare two that come to mind)and playing festivals like Lollapalooza and Bonnaroo. Now that introductions are done, here's the review.
In a few words "it's Gogol Bordello", in one word "tired". While most bands I've listened to and still do try to tweak their formula with every album to produce something fresh, Gogol Bordello is sticking to the same coattails that have carried them since their third album Gypsy Punks:Underdog World Strike which, while sounding a bit apart from Multi Kontra, still offered a pretty good range of memorable songs and pretty solid messages in some of them. In their following album Super Taranta they returned back to sounding a lot more like Multi Kontra which was nice but a couple songs irked me the wrong way. Trans-Continental Hustle isn't terrible, just over all pretty forgettable. Hell, I've been listening to it this entire review and already I forget most of what I've just heard. I don't buy albums very much, but when I see something from a band I've always loved and supported (i.e. when I saw the most recent offering from Gorillaz Plastic Beach I picked it up immediately) I drop the money I could have otherwise saved by pirating it offline and hold my breath. Trans-Continental Hustle is the weakest offering from Gogol Bordello, flat, which isn't saying it's bad, just they're totally capable of better stuff, I've heard it. Keeping with my rating system from the last music review (Full Price, Buy Used, Download, Fuck It) this is a solid Download if you're a fan of the band. If you haven't heard them, skip this and buy their first two Voi-La Intruder and/or, and I'll drop the name of the album again Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony.
Track List
1. Pala Tute
2. My Companjera
3. Sun is on My Side
4. Rebellious Love
5. Immigraniada (We Comin' Rougher)
6. When Universes Collide
7. Uma Menina
8. Raise the Knowledge
9. Last One Goes the Hope
10. To Rise Above
11. In the Meantime in Pernambuco
12. Break the Spell
13. Trans-Continental Hustle
May 19, 2010
Origilio Beer Distro Event: Full Report
It's been a couple days but here it finally is. Sunday afternoon Doobie's Bar descended on Origlio Beer Distributor in the far North East of Philadelphia for a trade event. There were at least 30 or 40 brewers there, live music, and free (and really good)food. Here's a recap of everything I tried with a couple formal reviews of the couple beers I especially loved. First, the list, I tried to look up what I could but some beers don't have all the info on the brewer website. Starred beers have full review. Oh, and all percents are ABV, not ABW. Not that too many people state side use ABW...unless their weirdos. This is just a breeze through if anyone has any questions on the beers I'm not featuring in full reviews just ask.
Arcadia
Sky High Rye - Rye Pale Ale
*Whitsun Ale - Spring/Summer - Whit Beer 6.2%
Atlantic Brewing- Bar Harbor
Island Ginger - Ginger Wheat
Coal Porter - Porter
Dock St. Brewing
Summer Session - Session Ale - 5%
Dogfish Head
Midas Touch - Ancient Turkish...thing - 9%
Great Divide Brewing
*Yeti - Imperial Stout - 9.5%
Great Lakes Brewing
Burning River - Pale Ale - 6%
Eliot Ness - Amber Lager - 6.2%
Heavy Seas
Marzen - Marzen - 5.75%
Peg Leg - Imperial Stout - ~8%
Lagunitas
Hop Stoopid - 8%
La Rossa
Old Speckled Hen
Magner's
Magner's Irish Cider - Hard Cider
Oskar Blues
Gordon Pale - Pale Ale - 6.5%
Sam Adams
Coastal Wheat - Hef - 5.3%
Sly Fox
Saison Vos - Belgian Style Saison - 6.9%
Spaten
Optimator - Doppel Bock - 7.2% (this one actually may be ABW but it's the only number the website gave me)
Stone Brewery
Levitation - Amber Ale - 4.4%
Troubador
Gulden Draak
21st Amendment Brewery
Brew Free or Die - IPA - 7%
Weyerbacher
*Blithering Idiot - Barley Wine - 11.1%
Whew, that was a lot. That's It for now, I had a couple more but they were international and only had the name of the Importer, not the brewery. I'll get to the formal reviews later. As for now I've been on the road all day and I'm exhausted. Good Night
Arcadia
Sky High Rye - Rye Pale Ale
*Whitsun Ale - Spring/Summer - Whit Beer 6.2%
Atlantic Brewing- Bar Harbor
Island Ginger - Ginger Wheat
Coal Porter - Porter
Dock St. Brewing
Summer Session - Session Ale - 5%
Dogfish Head
Midas Touch - Ancient Turkish...thing - 9%
Great Divide Brewing
*Yeti - Imperial Stout - 9.5%
Great Lakes Brewing
Burning River - Pale Ale - 6%
Eliot Ness - Amber Lager - 6.2%
Heavy Seas
Marzen - Marzen - 5.75%
Peg Leg - Imperial Stout - ~8%
Lagunitas
Hop Stoopid - 8%
La Rossa
Old Speckled Hen
Magner's
Magner's Irish Cider - Hard Cider
Oskar Blues
Gordon Pale - Pale Ale - 6.5%
Sam Adams
Coastal Wheat - Hef - 5.3%
Sly Fox
Saison Vos - Belgian Style Saison - 6.9%
Spaten
Optimator - Doppel Bock - 7.2% (this one actually may be ABW but it's the only number the website gave me)
Stone Brewery
Levitation - Amber Ale - 4.4%
Troubador
Gulden Draak
21st Amendment Brewery
Brew Free or Die - IPA - 7%
Weyerbacher
*Blithering Idiot - Barley Wine - 11.1%
Whew, that was a lot. That's It for now, I had a couple more but they were international and only had the name of the Importer, not the brewery. I'll get to the formal reviews later. As for now I've been on the road all day and I'm exhausted. Good Night
May 17, 2010
Rock Tumbler
When I was little my brother got a rock tumbler as a present. It was one of those little, battery powered plastic ones that came with some pre-packed stones to polish with that vinegary solution and with a little book on what to look for and false promises of finding real gem stones in your own back yard. I only remember him using it once or twice then it was in boxes for years until it was thrown away.
Flash to years later and to when I was in High School. Like many, there were a few people I related to and a couple (literally) of which I still call friend. Now, most of the time I'm completely satisfied with this, my life is affected but by no means dictated by those years. Every so often though and after a couple drinks and introspection I go on that hideous bitch goddess facebook and go through my friends list and try to reconnect with one or two individuals I haven't spoken to let alone seen in years. It never works out and I should by now know it never does, but hell, maybe one of these days it'll be worth a shot, or at least that's what the boose tells me. Usually though I just end up reinforcing my beliefs that people suck and those I thought I had a genuine connection with five years ago show their true eroded and washed out colors. I don't know if it's a matter of my bridge burning, things I've done in the past, or just how peoples' experiences just can either break down or build their characters but whenever I try to "reconnect" it ends up augmenting my feeling of "there's a reason you lost contact with them." I think what hurts the most is the disappointment in people I thought were solid and how, through a series of life's events, they've lost the very qualities that drew me to them in the first place. Sure, for all I know I could be the asshole that skipped out on them so they're pissed at me; as critical as I am on myself it's really difficult to be able to go against my belief that I am, while by no means the best, a relatively good person. Everyone changes, it's inevitable, I just wish there was more of a balance of being able to keep true to oneself while chipping away the gritty bits to allow more admirable luster to shine through. That fucking rock tumbler never did work right.
Flash to years later and to when I was in High School. Like many, there were a few people I related to and a couple (literally) of which I still call friend. Now, most of the time I'm completely satisfied with this, my life is affected but by no means dictated by those years. Every so often though and after a couple drinks and introspection I go on that hideous bitch goddess facebook and go through my friends list and try to reconnect with one or two individuals I haven't spoken to let alone seen in years. It never works out and I should by now know it never does, but hell, maybe one of these days it'll be worth a shot, or at least that's what the boose tells me. Usually though I just end up reinforcing my beliefs that people suck and those I thought I had a genuine connection with five years ago show their true eroded and washed out colors. I don't know if it's a matter of my bridge burning, things I've done in the past, or just how peoples' experiences just can either break down or build their characters but whenever I try to "reconnect" it ends up augmenting my feeling of "there's a reason you lost contact with them." I think what hurts the most is the disappointment in people I thought were solid and how, through a series of life's events, they've lost the very qualities that drew me to them in the first place. Sure, for all I know I could be the asshole that skipped out on them so they're pissed at me; as critical as I am on myself it's really difficult to be able to go against my belief that I am, while by no means the best, a relatively good person. Everyone changes, it's inevitable, I just wish there was more of a balance of being able to keep true to oneself while chipping away the gritty bits to allow more admirable luster to shine through. That fucking rock tumbler never did work right.
May 4, 2010
Severed Thumbs: Exit Through the Gift Shop
I'm a huge fan of Banksy. I believe all of his work his meaningful, witty, gorgeous, and tongue in cheek hilarious. Naturally, when I heard he released a movie I had to see it. That movie is Exit Through the Gift Shop
So just a bit of background for those who don't know Banksy. Banksy is a UK based street artist who is infamous for his stencil work, installations, and privacy. Nobody except a very select few have heard his voice and seen his face. Here's one of my favorites of his.
Now that the introductions are over, here's the movie. The movie is a documentary that Banksy made about Thierry Guetta, a not even amateur French film maker turned street artist. As Banksy put it, Thierry was looking for him and trying to make a documentary on him. Banksy took the project and made the doc about Thierry because he is much more interesting. It started in the early Aughts when Thierry's cousin "Space Invader", a street artist, took him on a couple outings when Thierry was visiting family in France. Thierry, who always had a video camera on him at all times, came on the night runs and fell in love with the movement. Eventually Thierry gets sucked into the street art world and becomes its unofficial documenter. He travels the world taping and aiding famous street artists such as Ron English (known for his work in the movie Super Size Me )and Shepard Fairey (Obey). This goes on for a couple years but Thierry does absolutely nothing with the footage. Enter master artist Banksy, who learns of Thierry on a run in LA. They get to know each other, become friends, then a series of events turns Thierry into a street artist by the name of "Mr. Brainwash" who sells out so bad he makes Gene Simmons look like a starving artist. Take note, this synopsis does absolutely no justice to this film NONE. To anyone familiar with Banksy's work or just those even a bit curious, this is a definite must see. There's a lot of speculation on whether or not this is in fact a true doc or, in typical Banksy style, something much much more. See it, laugh, cry, get pissed, and judge. 6 out of 6
So just a bit of background for those who don't know Banksy. Banksy is a UK based street artist who is infamous for his stencil work, installations, and privacy. Nobody except a very select few have heard his voice and seen his face. Here's one of my favorites of his.
Now that the introductions are over, here's the movie. The movie is a documentary that Banksy made about Thierry Guetta, a not even amateur French film maker turned street artist. As Banksy put it, Thierry was looking for him and trying to make a documentary on him. Banksy took the project and made the doc about Thierry because he is much more interesting. It started in the early Aughts when Thierry's cousin "Space Invader", a street artist, took him on a couple outings when Thierry was visiting family in France. Thierry, who always had a video camera on him at all times, came on the night runs and fell in love with the movement. Eventually Thierry gets sucked into the street art world and becomes its unofficial documenter. He travels the world taping and aiding famous street artists such as Ron English (known for his work in the movie Super Size Me )and Shepard Fairey (Obey). This goes on for a couple years but Thierry does absolutely nothing with the footage. Enter master artist Banksy, who learns of Thierry on a run in LA. They get to know each other, become friends, then a series of events turns Thierry into a street artist by the name of "Mr. Brainwash" who sells out so bad he makes Gene Simmons look like a starving artist. Take note, this synopsis does absolutely no justice to this film NONE. To anyone familiar with Banksy's work or just those even a bit curious, this is a definite must see. There's a lot of speculation on whether or not this is in fact a true doc or, in typical Banksy style, something much much more. See it, laugh, cry, get pissed, and judge. 6 out of 6
Apr 11, 2010
Love, Ire & Prose
"Once, we were young. We were crass enough to care but I guess you live and learn, and we won't make that mistake again." -from "Love Ire and Song" by Frank Turner
I'm only 23, but those words sum up my twenties thus far. In the past three years I've cared, I've acted, and I've received nothing but disappointment. Usually given what I've seen, my form of jaded usually takes longer than that but I suppose I've had extreme measures and too much time to be introspective. I went to protests, I read the literature, I lived in West Philly, I did Food Not Bombs. The protests were poorly run, the lit was boring, the guy I lived with in West Philly was insane, and my reasons for leaving FnB are too long winded to fit in a parallel sentence structure. I still fervently support the group and the work it does, but yeah, long winded. These last five years, and I say five because everything started to go to shit February of 2005, have been a mix of culture shock, isolation, lost friends, confusion, and disillusion. It's as if I've done more growing up in five years than a lot of people I know do in a life time. I know life isn't supposed to be easy, but it feels like I've consistently been walking up a seventy degree slope with two tons of baggage on my back. I'm not depressed, just gaunt and frustrated. I know I'm too analytical about everything but I just can't seem to relax anymore, let things be, and get behind a cause. That's what used to fuel me, being able to get flustered enough and get behind a cause but every single one I've supported has been flawed. My first real defeat in this respect was two years ago. I took a stab at vegetarianism because I found out what the meat companies were doing with people, both customers and employees. One year later I learned that 80% of food in this country comes from the same four or five companies. I was shattered; Makiya was there with me and saw the defeat in my face. I will never forget that night and everything since has followed the same path. My life hasn't been much different so far really. A vicious cycle of disappointment after disappointment and disillusionment after disillusionment. I've managed to cope with most things but some nights like tonight the zippers on the baggage break and everything scatters.
I know everything sucks and it could always get much worse, but I'm pissed dammit. We all grew up thinking that the world is filled with possibility and with hard work and determination you will succeed, but all that optimism is eroding away and what's being left is just a jagged shell of bitterness covering a core of knowledge that the world our ancestors and previous generations left us is complete shit. A world where corruption and apathy towards others reins supreme and anyone with any feeling other than complacency towards an obviously broken system is thrown to the fucking dogs. I think that's what gets me the most about everything, complacency. That's what angers me the most, that feeling that so many people have that everything will work out and we'll all be taken care of, so why be a rabblerouser? I've been guilty of it myself and it's repugnant. When I see myself doing that I look at my own reflection and spit on it. It's another cycle, I get jaded, I get complacent, then I get pissed off, find a cause, learn it's flawed, then back to being jaded. I need to find a way to break the cycle at "find a cause" then stick with it.
"So come on let's be young, let's be crass enough to care
Let's refuse to live and learn, let's make all our mistakes again yes
And then darling, just for one day, we can fight and we can win"
I'm only 23, but those words sum up my twenties thus far. In the past three years I've cared, I've acted, and I've received nothing but disappointment. Usually given what I've seen, my form of jaded usually takes longer than that but I suppose I've had extreme measures and too much time to be introspective. I went to protests, I read the literature, I lived in West Philly, I did Food Not Bombs. The protests were poorly run, the lit was boring, the guy I lived with in West Philly was insane, and my reasons for leaving FnB are too long winded to fit in a parallel sentence structure. I still fervently support the group and the work it does, but yeah, long winded. These last five years, and I say five because everything started to go to shit February of 2005, have been a mix of culture shock, isolation, lost friends, confusion, and disillusion. It's as if I've done more growing up in five years than a lot of people I know do in a life time. I know life isn't supposed to be easy, but it feels like I've consistently been walking up a seventy degree slope with two tons of baggage on my back. I'm not depressed, just gaunt and frustrated. I know I'm too analytical about everything but I just can't seem to relax anymore, let things be, and get behind a cause. That's what used to fuel me, being able to get flustered enough and get behind a cause but every single one I've supported has been flawed. My first real defeat in this respect was two years ago. I took a stab at vegetarianism because I found out what the meat companies were doing with people, both customers and employees. One year later I learned that 80% of food in this country comes from the same four or five companies. I was shattered; Makiya was there with me and saw the defeat in my face. I will never forget that night and everything since has followed the same path. My life hasn't been much different so far really. A vicious cycle of disappointment after disappointment and disillusionment after disillusionment. I've managed to cope with most things but some nights like tonight the zippers on the baggage break and everything scatters.
I know everything sucks and it could always get much worse, but I'm pissed dammit. We all grew up thinking that the world is filled with possibility and with hard work and determination you will succeed, but all that optimism is eroding away and what's being left is just a jagged shell of bitterness covering a core of knowledge that the world our ancestors and previous generations left us is complete shit. A world where corruption and apathy towards others reins supreme and anyone with any feeling other than complacency towards an obviously broken system is thrown to the fucking dogs. I think that's what gets me the most about everything, complacency. That's what angers me the most, that feeling that so many people have that everything will work out and we'll all be taken care of, so why be a rabblerouser? I've been guilty of it myself and it's repugnant. When I see myself doing that I look at my own reflection and spit on it. It's another cycle, I get jaded, I get complacent, then I get pissed off, find a cause, learn it's flawed, then back to being jaded. I need to find a way to break the cycle at "find a cause" then stick with it.
"So come on let's be young, let's be crass enough to care
Let's refuse to live and learn, let's make all our mistakes again yes
And then darling, just for one day, we can fight and we can win"
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