KABUL, Afghanistan - Mutants set off a car bomb and stormed the entrance to a major NATO air base in eastern Afghanistan on Wednesday, authorities said. Eight of the beasts died in the failed assault. The CHUD (Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers) Nation has taken full responsibility. This is the third ground attack from "the Nation" (as supporters and members informally call it) on NATO forces since drilling in the Middle East disturbed their home in early May. Using light weapons, and rocket-propelled grenades the mutants battled U.S. and Afghan forces for 30 minutes around the airport on the outskirts of Jalalabad city, the media office at the airport said.
"The beasts were not able to breach the perimeter. They were fought off by Coalition and Afghan forces." German army Brig. Gen. Josef Blotz, a spokesman for NATO, told reporters, "We've seen a lot out here this past decade. Car bombs, suicide bombers, and men and women who are civilian one second, enemy insurgent the next. The Middle East has always been a hot bed of violence and blurred lines. There is nothing these Humanoid Cannibals can throw at us that we haven't already seen."
A letter written on skin was sent to the Associated Press that said six suicide CHUD scouts killed 32 Coalition and Afghan forces at the airport about 80 miles east of the Afghan capital. The Nation often claims higher numbers in deaths than the official toll.
In an unrelated incident in East Afghanistan last week, a United States soldier was dragged underground and is considered missing in action. This brings the possible American death toll to 59 in June.
At a Press conference held shortly after the most recent attack, when asked about the addition of the CHUD Nation to an already volatile situation in Afghanistan American General David H. Petraeus, who recently was put in command of Afghan forces, had no comment.
Jun 24, 2010
A Bonding Moment With Dad
Dad- Son, out of my brothers and I, who do you think is the smartest?
me- I don't know, umm...Uncle ------?
D- Actually it's your Uncle ---, he's an accomplished scientist. Now, second question, who do you think has the biggest dick?
m- ...you mean second biggest?
D- (nods approvingly)Good answer
me- I don't know, umm...Uncle ------?
D- Actually it's your Uncle ---, he's an accomplished scientist. Now, second question, who do you think has the biggest dick?
m- ...you mean second biggest?
D- (nods approvingly)Good answer
Jun 3, 2010
Music Review: Gogol Bordello "Trans-Continental Hustle"
I know I promised beer reviews but I haven't been able to sit down and get a good thing going with those so we'll call those on Hiatus right now. That said, here's a review for the new Gogol Bordello album Trans-Continental Hustle.
For those of you not familiar with the band, here's a quick synopsis of what they are. Take a bunch of Eastern European immigrants, give them a mix of folk instruments (accordion, violin, etc.) and electric guitars and shove them into the modern day NYC punk rock scene. You have the lead singer Eugene Hűtz, an energetic, quarter Romany descendant from Ukraine who is a much better show man than singer and a mix match of other Gypsies and outcasts having a good time and playing music that's a mix of folk, kleizmer, punk rock, dub, hip hop, Balkan brass, what have you. They came on the scene in the early aughts and broke out with their second full length album and my personal favorite of there's Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony since then they've received a lot more attention through use on music soundtracks (Everything is Illuminated and Wristcutters: a Love Storyare two that come to mind)and playing festivals like Lollapalooza and Bonnaroo. Now that introductions are done, here's the review.
In a few words "it's Gogol Bordello", in one word "tired". While most bands I've listened to and still do try to tweak their formula with every album to produce something fresh, Gogol Bordello is sticking to the same coattails that have carried them since their third album Gypsy Punks:Underdog World Strike which, while sounding a bit apart from Multi Kontra, still offered a pretty good range of memorable songs and pretty solid messages in some of them. In their following album Super Taranta they returned back to sounding a lot more like Multi Kontra which was nice but a couple songs irked me the wrong way. Trans-Continental Hustle isn't terrible, just over all pretty forgettable. Hell, I've been listening to it this entire review and already I forget most of what I've just heard. I don't buy albums very much, but when I see something from a band I've always loved and supported (i.e. when I saw the most recent offering from Gorillaz Plastic Beach I picked it up immediately) I drop the money I could have otherwise saved by pirating it offline and hold my breath. Trans-Continental Hustle is the weakest offering from Gogol Bordello, flat, which isn't saying it's bad, just they're totally capable of better stuff, I've heard it. Keeping with my rating system from the last music review (Full Price, Buy Used, Download, Fuck It) this is a solid Download if you're a fan of the band. If you haven't heard them, skip this and buy their first two Voi-La Intruder and/or, and I'll drop the name of the album again Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony.
Track List
1. Pala Tute
2. My Companjera
3. Sun is on My Side
4. Rebellious Love
5. Immigraniada (We Comin' Rougher)
6. When Universes Collide
7. Uma Menina
8. Raise the Knowledge
9. Last One Goes the Hope
10. To Rise Above
11. In the Meantime in Pernambuco
12. Break the Spell
13. Trans-Continental Hustle
For those of you not familiar with the band, here's a quick synopsis of what they are. Take a bunch of Eastern European immigrants, give them a mix of folk instruments (accordion, violin, etc.) and electric guitars and shove them into the modern day NYC punk rock scene. You have the lead singer Eugene Hűtz, an energetic, quarter Romany descendant from Ukraine who is a much better show man than singer and a mix match of other Gypsies and outcasts having a good time and playing music that's a mix of folk, kleizmer, punk rock, dub, hip hop, Balkan brass, what have you. They came on the scene in the early aughts and broke out with their second full length album and my personal favorite of there's Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony since then they've received a lot more attention through use on music soundtracks (Everything is Illuminated and Wristcutters: a Love Storyare two that come to mind)and playing festivals like Lollapalooza and Bonnaroo. Now that introductions are done, here's the review.
In a few words "it's Gogol Bordello", in one word "tired". While most bands I've listened to and still do try to tweak their formula with every album to produce something fresh, Gogol Bordello is sticking to the same coattails that have carried them since their third album Gypsy Punks:Underdog World Strike which, while sounding a bit apart from Multi Kontra, still offered a pretty good range of memorable songs and pretty solid messages in some of them. In their following album Super Taranta they returned back to sounding a lot more like Multi Kontra which was nice but a couple songs irked me the wrong way. Trans-Continental Hustle isn't terrible, just over all pretty forgettable. Hell, I've been listening to it this entire review and already I forget most of what I've just heard. I don't buy albums very much, but when I see something from a band I've always loved and supported (i.e. when I saw the most recent offering from Gorillaz Plastic Beach I picked it up immediately) I drop the money I could have otherwise saved by pirating it offline and hold my breath. Trans-Continental Hustle is the weakest offering from Gogol Bordello, flat, which isn't saying it's bad, just they're totally capable of better stuff, I've heard it. Keeping with my rating system from the last music review (Full Price, Buy Used, Download, Fuck It) this is a solid Download if you're a fan of the band. If you haven't heard them, skip this and buy their first two Voi-La Intruder and/or, and I'll drop the name of the album again Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony.
Track List
1. Pala Tute
2. My Companjera
3. Sun is on My Side
4. Rebellious Love
5. Immigraniada (We Comin' Rougher)
6. When Universes Collide
7. Uma Menina
8. Raise the Knowledge
9. Last One Goes the Hope
10. To Rise Above
11. In the Meantime in Pernambuco
12. Break the Spell
13. Trans-Continental Hustle
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