Nov 5, 2011

The Most Tragic Children's TV Character

In 1992, an unknown comedian and actor named Paul Zaloom made his big break as a zany scientist who would answer science questions sent in by kids. Along with his two sidekicks, gross but lovable Lester the Rat (Mark Ritts) and a season to season sassy, female assistant with the fashion sense of Cindy Lauper in a mushroom frenzy, Beakman's World was a hit on TLC spanning most of the 90s. While the premise of the show is seemingly harmless, there is a very real and very dark truth behind it. At no point did they ever refer to Lester as "a rat", in fact they regularly and openly referred to him as "a guy in a rat suit." While the joke has its places in this world, in the reality of the world that show is set in, it was pandering to the delusions of a sad, middle aged man who one day gave up on living a normal life.
Poor, clueless Lester was the butt of jokes for all four seasons of Beakman's World. I like to think he was born in or around Newark, NJ as Lester Kozlewski. He was never a clean boy and grew up being pelted by class mates with nicknames like Pig Pen, Stink Ass, and Lester PEE-EWski. Naturally he grew up with a low self esteem, overate regularly, and was too depressed for good hygiene. When he was in his mid thirties he was in his mother's basement, surrounded by his own filth, when his Princess Bride VHS tape wore out from overuse. Upon being struck by a moment without distraction, he looked at himself, his life, the subhuman nothing he grew up to be, and lost his mind. He decided on that day that if he was no better than the common rat he would fashion himself a suit out of an old shag rug and live like one. One day while picking through his neighbors' garbage for scraps, he saw an ad in a newspaper that lab rats were needed for testing and he answered. Upon seeing him, the lab assistants took pity and sent him over to eccentric Dr. Beakman because they knew he wanted to start an educational program, and the rest was Saturday morning TV history.
Lester's low self esteem is only part of his problem. Often during the show he made self deprecating cracks and consistently tried to flirt with the female assistants the only way he knew how, by cracking wise and offering gifts of stuff he found under his unwashed, homemade rat costume. Given his social inabilities it was no surprise that these advances were met with disgust, but he just didn't understand because any other attempt at social interaction in his life had been met with ridicule. It is easier to hide the tears of a clown than understand the human mind. He often made references about how he needed to find a better agent, but at no point were the viewers shown this agent nor did we hear any dialogue over a phone that could make his existence plausible. Lester's job was not easy, but he did it for five years, succumbing more and more to madness with each passing season. His coworker and supposed "friend" Beakman was no help either. Beakman perpetuated Lester's sickness for the sake of entertainment, not once showing any sign that he wanted to help. He was the star, it was his world, and screw the unwashed, hopeless, crazed man in a rat suit.
It is tragic when people look back into the abyss that was their life and reel in terror at how little they did with it. Perhaps it was better for Lester Kozlewski to die and Lester The Guy in the Rat Suit to live on. In his madness he never frowned, never cried, he had fun being who he was and not living up to other people's standards. It's not known what became of Lester after the show went off the air in 1997, but I'd like to think he went on to help inner city children with esteem and weight issues. Unfortunately, he most likely fell to the same, less savory fate that befalls most unemployed and mentally ill people. Did Lester move on to better things or did he die on the harsh city streets or in the sewers with the rest of the rats? We will never know.

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