Archive '09: Despite Oppressive Heat, Phils-Yanks series gives hope for the fall

With the recent outcome of the ALCS figured I'd put this up again, this is from May shortly after the Philles/Yanks interleague series. LET THE TURNPIKE SERIES BEGIN!!!!!

Despite Oppressive Heat, Phils-Yanks series gives hope for the fall
-May 25, 2009

The summer's in swing, humidity is ungodly, and the heat is killing me, that's nothing though compared to the fireworks in the Bronx this past weekend. The Phillies ended their 8-2 marvel of a road trip at the New Yankee stadium Sunday to a mixed crowd of Phils and Yanks fans. Despite each fan's affiliation though one thing was on everyone's mind "what a hell of a series." The bats were swinging and despite Lidge's problems both bullpens were on top of their game. You know it was a fantastic couple games when the losing teams fans are even saying "damn that was good."
Is this a sign of things to come? I hope so. Both teams were so equally matched that two out of three games came down to the 9th (and in sunday's case the 10th and 11th.) The working man's ball club showed the nation that they can stand up to the best team money can buy and in turn millions of viewers were able to see some real serious ball being played. Trust me when I say this series made me look forward to more from the team I grew up to love to hate and I hope they make it to the post season, even if it's just to see the Phillies beat them.

Severed Thumbs: Where the Wild Things Are

Initially "Severed Thumbs" was just going to be for horror movies, but I couldn't think of any other rating system so I'm going to keep with it. As always, I don't know much about film so these reviews are based on pure observation.

I went into Where the Wild Things Are with a couple things to expect. Beautiful landscapes and effects, Spike Jonze, and the expansion of a ten sentence children's book into a two hour movie. I also heard two people's takes on it, one said boring as hell, the other said it was really good. So I insisted on seeing it for myself. It starts out with Max chasing his dog then it goes to him playing in the snow, annoying his big sister, and having her friends get carried away and crushing his soul and his igloo. There's more padding where we see Max's family life, his single mom trying to get it on, and then him being a brat and running away, first quarter of the movie done, now onto the Island.
We first see the wild things bickering amongst themselves because Carol {the main monster?} is destroying their homes. He's blaming everyone for not being there for him and he's all alone. Max relates, helps Carol destroy homes, and then almost gets eaten by the Wild Things before he convinces them he's a king. Then we get a big fun monster romp and everyone falls asleep in a big pile, but not before Max meets K.W. the monster who pissed off Carol because she has new friends. K.W. is a voice of reason in the otherwise hectic world of caricatures of different moods and types of children. Then we are introduced to the rest of the Wild Things before Carol and Max tour the kingdom in a huge montage to hip, Karen O stylings, Second Quarter of Movie and first half done.
Second half starts with Carol showing Max his secret place and giant diorama including miniatures of all the Wild Things. At this moment I was expecting Judge Frollo to come in but instead Max and Carol decide to make a huge fortress and playground where everyone will be happy. Construction goes great, everyone's happy and... MONTAGE!!! At this moment, Max and K.W. have been getting closer and Max is having doubts about this King Business so She takes Max to see her two muppets...i mean...friends. They "talk" and K.W. brings her friends back with them. Carol gets jealous and so ends 3/4 of the movie.
Last 1/4 of the movie hell breaks loose. There's a dirt clod war turned sour, The Wild Things get restless, Max admits he's not a king, and Carol goes crazy. The Kingdom Crumbles, Max decides to go home, and I'm getting exhausted just writing this, end credits.
It's not that this was a bad movie. It was beautifully done, the imagery was fantastic, and it had some good messages. The Wild Things were personifications of all of Max's lesser qualities and he learned to cope with his own feelings in seeing these things act foolish. The biggest weakness of this movie (besides Karen O's ear piercing Warble) was it's length. Those very same messages the movie conveyed in 2 hours it could have more effectively conveyed in 90 minutes. This movie's saving graces were it's imagery and it's ability to dig deep into the soul and bring out the darker sides of child hood. Growing up I didn't have many friends. I lived in the woods, and when I moved out of the woods and to Jersey I just felt out of place. I didn't find anywhere to fit in until my Senior Year of High School. This movie brought back those feelings of loneliness and confusion. When most people say they feel like a kid again they remember summers from school, fun with friends, and not having a care. I think of feeling out of place, questioning everything, and an unparalleled awkwardness toward the world around me, and that's why I give this movie 4 out of 6 Severed Thumbs.

Severed Thumbs: Zombieland

So before I start I'm going to just get some things straight. I know very little about film, my reviews are based on what I see and what I like and nothing else. My rating system is based off of what I perceive; as a disclaimer *and anyone who has known me long or well enough will agree to this* take whatever I say with a whole bloody shaker of salt. Now that that's done, ZOMBIELAND!

Okay so I'm going to start with the first 10 minutes of the movie and my experiences and go from there.

"cool, i like where this is headed. It takes place 2 months after the zombie apocalypse, I like the main character's rules."

*"For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica starts to play, opening credits start*

"...this is fucking bangarang."

That said, Zombieland is a movie about 4 people who meet up in a post-apocalyptic world run by zombies. How they meet up? I refuse to say, there's going to be a lot of that in this review. So take "Wristcutters: A love Story", "Shaun of the Dead", and Woody Harrelson being a complete fucking bad ass and you have Zombieland. The Horror is there, the comedy is a nice after thought, and the movie is fantastically made and on such a small budget. The Make up effects are pretty standard for the zombie genre but there's one thing this movie has that others don't and that's *drum roll* FAT ZOMBIES! It makes perfect sense, dudes who can't run from a horde of flesh hungry former friends and family would be the first to go.
Now on to the characters. The narrator is Columbus, a 20 something year old shut in virgin who spent his entire life indoors. No Friends, no family, just Mountain Dew Code Red and World of Warcraft. His wits and cowardice have been his greatest assets in this Zombie World and he's survived because of them. He Meets up with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) who has nothing left to live for besides twinkies and the idea of he's a pro at killing zombies. They meet up with Hot Chick (Wichita) and Little Girl from "Little Miss Sunshine" (Little Rock) and there we go, buddy road comedy in the making...with zombies. Don't let this lame synopsis fool you though, this movie is a must have in any zombie collection. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is up there with Evil Dead 2 and Shaun of the Dead (actually, the director Ruben Fleischer was inspired to make "Zombieland" when he saw "Shaun of the Dead".) The characters fit so well, you have the paranoid, Caulrophobic voice of reason, the Bad ass Shit Kicker, the Crafty hot chick and her 12 going on 30 little sister. This rounds out our family that we as viewers follow the whole movie.
What I especially loved about this movie is it takes place after the Zombie Apocalypse. These are the only 4 Humans we see in this desolate wasteland the entire movie. It's not "this shit is coming down and it's heavy" it's "this shit came down, now what?" Survival horror at its finest. I laughed, I cried, and there was just the right amount of gore and jumping from my seat. 5 out of 6 Severed Thumbs.

Change Will Only Come to those Who Open the Eyes of the Willingly Blind

I've been trying to keep up with the news on the protests that occurred at G-20. There was one protest that erupted in a big way, a bunch of Pitt Students and a CNN reporter got gassed and arrested. It's unfortunate yes, but I say it was a sign of success. In every protest/revolution/etc. there is one fact that a lot of people overlook, and that is, to make prominent change one must involve the middle class, the voters, the populace who otherwise don't know what is going on. I repeat myself, yes, but I can't think of any other way to put it, The Willingly Blind.
I've been to several protests myself, and for the longest time I was weekly helping a group called Food Not Bombs. I tried my hardest to submerse myself in that culture but that was the one trend I could not help but see. A lot of these groups have the right idea, their heart is in the right place, but overall it comes down to one fatal flaw, you're preaching to the choir. Food Not Bombs for instance is a world wide group that cooks vegan and vegetarian food for the homeless in metropolitan areas. They do so by donations from supermarkets, dock workers, pretty much anyone with perfectly fine vegetables that are not otherwise "fit" to be sold to people. They are not a non-profit group, at least in the eyes of the law, and for the most part it's a group of people who share similar ideals who do something great for the world and make damn sure it's in plain, public view. My reasons for ending my tenure with the group are my own, but there is a problem with this otherwise fantastic group and it's the same problem that many movements meet, and that is both its strong point and weakness. Simply, it's a group of like minded people that are dissenting while becoming prone to the very same trends that say, the republican party fall prey to.
Everyone is so like minded, and so agreeable that barely any growth comes out of it. Sure, it's in a public place, especially in the case of the group I was in. We served in a very touristy, middle/upper class area, but the people who lived and visited either just didn't give a damn, or were so foreign to the idea of helping people that they were completely disgusted by the display of hope and good will that they would call the police. In a country founded by these ideals it is now just a cruel, dog eat dog world. It's like when I walk down the street and hold doors open for people going into buildings that I myself am not going into. They get repulsed! Especially women, because in this society, especially on the East Coast, we are so jaded with these ideals, that we get scared and uncomfortable. This leads me to my point, it is not the groups that fail, never, it is that we live in a world where being a Good Samaritan is either considered a sign of weakness, or it's so foreign to people that they get scared and think "he/she's being nice, what are their real intentions?"
It's repugnant, it really is, I'm prone to it as well, If I see a lost child crying for their parents, I'm afraid, because I wonder what are people going to think? Maybe I'm a molester, maybe I'm trying to hurt the kid. Luckily I'm young enough now that there's the off chance that people will think he/she's my younger sibling, or given how the world is now, my son/daughter, but in 10 or 15 years? What then? But I have greatly digressed. What people need to do is they have to make their cause and actions acceptable to the middle/upper classes, the group that society deems "fit" to have a word. Sure, the constitution has changed, but the ideas of the founding fathers are still strong. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of happiness...if you are white, male, middle aged and own land. What we blue shirts need to do is try to set aside our class biases even for a moment and try, and I mean really TRY (trust me, it's hard) to make our causes and ideals known to that "Higher Class". We need to package them in such a palatable way, without sugar coating the real story, so it's easier to swallow and maybe then we can have some sort of unity.

-Jonny Gonzo

Is it ever sunny in Philadelphia?

Everyday the city is under my feet and everyday I get more disgusted at the cruel display that unfolds. Walking to work is like walking through a safari. Savages are all around me, like rich slobs on the backs of slaves looking for that next big kill. Anger has been taking over kindness and humanity is standing on a powder keg. In the few years I've been here there has always been a balance of bad vibes but this year things are getting...heavier. The snake is starting to bite its own tail and a cycle of tensions and violence is quickly closing in. Then again, it could have always been like this and I'm just now starting to see the true demonic face of the situation. A city found on revolutionary ideals of freedom from oppression is nothing more than the butt of barbarous jokes. Corruption and death has sullied the name of the city and the few people that see it are too busy bitching amongst themselves to accomplish anything. Is there really an American Dream anymore? People from all around emigrate to this country with those hopes but they are soon shattered by a juggernaut of greed and complacency, but then again, perhaps that is the American Dream. As a great writer once said "In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile." With the right set of eyes, one can see the high water mark of this atrocity before the real wave hits. I feel, if the tsunami of filth and broken dreams is going to come to that mark, it'll be right here at Independence Hall. Where the poetry of old world ideals and the disease of new world reality mingle in such balance that no one will even know what happened.

it's been a while

Alright, alright, fine, you've twisted my arm, I'll start writing again. It's been a while since I've written anything, even longer for anything substantial. Pretty much lately I've been sticking to beer and book reviews but not so much in what I want to do which is investigative journalism. I have several ideas, the easiest being a report on "for profit" schools and student loans. I want to do this because this is something that I have regrettably become very very familiar with. I already have several friends who want to help me with interviews and resources so hot damn! Currently I'm in my own battles with the financial Juggernaut (IT'S THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH AND I GOT A BITCH WITH ME!) known as Sallie Mae. Apparently in 2007, Junior passed a law stating any loans signed for after 2006 were susceptible to the College Cost Reduction Act (CCRA) meaning, given one's income the loanee is only responsible for 10% of his or her total income, given I'm a po' white boy that's 800 a year. They're trying to get me to pay 826 a month and I didn't even know about this act until my roommate mentioned it in conversation. Updates to come.

Free Trade Viruses: part 1

We all have come in contact with those wonderful little bugs over the Internet. Whether it's the latest spam thread on myspace.com or a potent virus found in emails, these little fuckers have been getting PC users (and to a lesser extent Mac users) by the short and curlies ever since the Internet first became popular in the 1990s. Where do all of these come from though? Like most people I at first just thought it was a handful of people just trying to screw up things, but upon reading an article on it from zdnet.co.uk it turns out that many of the viruses and spam we receive and deal with on a regular basis come from a vast underground network not too dissimilar to the mafia.
It pretty much rounds out like this. Someone hires one or several people to write the code for these viruses. They negotiate payment then the coders in turn hire even more people to send out these viruses. As stated in the initial article

Security experts are increasingly pointing to the existence of a "black" or "shadow" cyber-economy, where malware services are sold online using the same kinds of development methods and guarantees given by legitimate software vendors.

So the Trojan you get in an email from someone on your contact list stating "this website/picture/game/video/whatever is so cool and LOLs" it's possible that they in turn got it from numerous people; networks, within networks.
In short even the world of malware isn't safe from free market capitalism. This I suppose goes along with the phrase "If a dollar is to be made, people will do it."
What interests me the most about this topic is just the sheer idea that even in something that seems so random as viruses and spam there is still such an organized crime network. Professionals are still unsure just how organized this "black cyber-economy" is but in one example used in the article they sure as hell know how to pack a punch. The UK is and has been continually hit by a piece of Malware named "storm." This is a malware "bot" that was created that sent emails saying "230 Dead as Storm Batters Europe." When people open this email they get the virus. An employee of the well known antivirus company McAfee had this to say about "Storm."

"Storm has been exceptionally successful...It's used for spam runs, and researchers attempting to locate Storm command and control servers have come under attack. The hardest part is finding the key to those channels. They're not always easy to detect and find. Some of the communications are encrypted, while some are difficult to detect from a network point of view. I hate to use the word evolution, but they're certainly learning from their successes and failures. If it weren't for Storm, bots would be in significant recession. Some days we're seeing 1,000 different variants a day"

Like some weird Frankenstein's Monster, Storm is still evolving and learning to this day. Every new version of it takes lessons from the previous versions and it's becoming harder and harder for anti-virus/malware professionals to reverse its damage.
The real question though is who is making the money from these programs besides the anti-malware professionals? Those who have been caught are primarily just small players who are trying to pick up some extra cash. No John Gottis of the cyber world have been found (yet), but the competition is still fierce. One programmer, after creating a "packer" which is a program used to bypass computer security, ended up calling it quits after he just could not get a break. One thing that must be realized is it's not just other programmers these coders are going against; bots such as "Storm" are becoming more and more prevalent in the malware underground. Just like in a lot of modern industry and factory positions, why pay multiple people to send out these viruses when you can just as easily only pay one person to create a single program that can do the job quickly and more proficiently.
The internet is as much of a jungle as any other industry is. Be it buying stocks on Wall St., writing for a paper, or just being a cook at a bar, times are moving fast and money is moving even faster. The human instinct of adaptability is audacious in all respects and those who don't move with the rest of the trend are going to get trampled. I'm not saying I condone the act of purposely making people's lives a living hell, but one thing I will say is in this unsteady economic climate, making people miserable is the only service that will never go out of style.

This is a topic I happen to have great interest in and I'm going to be writing about it much more in the future as soon as I can get more information on it. I hope to make this into a complete investigative report eventually including interviews with programmers and players in the cyber-economy. Tune in later this week for part two. As for now, as always, Cheers.

-Jonny Gonzo

citation and quotes taken from original article "Cracking open the cybercrime economy" by Tom Espiner http://resources.zdnet.co.uk/articles/features/0,1000002000,39291463-2,00.htm