Cold Turkey Diaries: Week 3

I'm losing it. I know the mental side effects were going to be the worst part but this is way worse than I ever thought. It could be that I just picked the wrong time to quit (depression is a given since I'm always depressed in January anyway)and fate has a way of fucking me over constantly and every chance it gets but just, wow. Just that mental craving is more than anything my body has thrown at me so far. Work, where I smoked the most, is the real proving ground. This past Friday I had a very clear idea of what it is like to go mad. "The drone" as I call it, or the combined voices of a packed bar, was hammering at my psyche like a diamond tipped, ball pin hammer. On top of that, finances are the lowest they have been in two years so that is more weight on stress. Just overall I am not having a good month. That sentence, by the way, is the SINGLE most understated thing I have ever said or typed. A better way to describe how this month has been is to imagine an Iron Pronged Pitchfork, red hot, being stabbed DIRECTLY into my urinary meatus while my foreskin is stretched out like a rubber band and plucked like a banjo string.